A Simple Motivation System for Better Behavior
Today I want to shift my focus away from toddlers a bit and focus on those who are at home with multiple children and struggling with arguing, fighting, and general behavior issues.
We have seen a lot of ups and downs in behavior in our own house. Some weeks have been better than others, but we have seen new behaviors (biting) and more extreme tantrums that we had seen previously. Through it all, I’ve been trying not to worry too much about this being the new normal (my normal mental go-to: “we’ve finally arrived at the terrible toddler years and will never seen a glimpse of our formerly sweet child again!’), and trying to remind myself that it’s completely expected for kids to be struggling right now. Take disrupted routines, parents working while home with them, lots of time in one spot, being disconnected from friends and other family members, and sensing the general feeling of unease that their parents are exuding…it’s no wonder that kids are out of sorts. Personally, after almost two months of isolating, I’m not at my best either!
But it’s hard. So, what can be done? Besides a heavy dose of self-care and patience, my suggestion for parents of slightly older kids is: turn behavior into a game! The Good Behavior Game, to be precise. The Good Behavior Game is a proven and effective way to improve children’s behavior in a simple, low effort way. In other words, it’s a realistic way for busy parents to reduce challenging behavior at home. The game was first tested in the late 1960s ( Barrish et. al, 1969) and has been shown to be effective in many different settings since, with kids age 4-18.
The game involved dividing kids into two teams, creating a “scoreboard”, and giving a point to the team that demonstrates any problematic behavior. The team with the least points at the end of the day (think golf, not basketball!) is the winner and earns a reward. Simple, effective, sanity saving.
Interested in learning more? Click below to get the official list of steps to use the Good Behavior Game in your own home, as well as tips for troubleshooting common issues):