How Circadian Rhythms Contribute to Bedtime Resistance
Are there any moms out there who haven’t given in to their toddler’s request for “one more kiss?”, before saying that final goodnight? I, personally, am finding putting an eventual end to the “one more” (that is inevitably many, many more) to be one of life’s more difficult endeavors and I don’t think I’m alone in this. And this is KNOWING that it’s the reason my son has been falling asleep later and later each night, and completely skipped his nap completely this afternoon.
Have you heard the term “circadian rhythm?” Your circadian rhythm is your biological clock, with cycles that repeat approximately every twenty-four hours. Some of these cycles include body temperature, hunger, activity, sleeping, and waking. Your ability, and your child’s ability, to fall asleep is closely tied to your circadian rhythms.
I mentioned above that these cycles repeat “approximately” every twenty-hour hours. Although naturally these cycles are only a few minutes longer than 24 hours, this is intensified in our modern world by things like exposure to artificial light in the evening after sunset (Netflix, phone screens, lights on in your home) and the artificial darkness we create to let us sleep in later than sunrise (curtains and blinds). These things cause our internal clock to run slower, making us function at closer to a 25-hour schedule.
And because of this, when there is no schedule and we are left to our own devices, humans will function on a 25-hour schedule. During the work-week, you likely stick to an approximate bedtime but on the weekends, when you aren’t choosing to put yourself to bed at a that time so that you can be well rested for work, you will likely comfortably stay up later and sleep in later the next day. You have also probably felt how difficult it is to shift back to that earlier schedule when you wake up groggy come Monday morning!
When a child delays bedtime by requesting “one more book”, “one more hug” (or with my clever bugger, “one more kiss?”) and you usually grant those requests, they are also shifting bedtime later and may stop feeling sleepy at their usual bedtime and instead start to feel sleepy later. And when kids aren’t sleepy at bedtime you’re likely going to have a less easy bedtime process, with more attempts to delay lights out. It’s a cycle! Also, if you’re letting your toddler or preschooler choose their bedtime each night, they’re most likely going to wait until the point that they are so sleepy they can’t stay awake any longer, based on that 25-hour cycle.
Note: not only can this shift in sleep cycle make bedtime difficult; it can also cause kids to sleep poorly at night and feel more tired during the day, which can result in other daytime problematic behavior. Think again about your groggy Monday!
A child’s daytime schedule also affects circadian rhythms. Things like eating at abnormal times, napping at inconsistent times, etc. can also lead to a child who has trouble falling and staying asleep until an appropriate time. The solution: if you’re going to start addressing sleep issue of your child’s, set and start with a consistent schedule right away. Does this mean that you’ll be chained to your house forever, unable to deviate or have any spontaneity ever again? No! Although it may feel like that at first. Establish the routine in the first place, THEN you can be flexible from time to time without worrying about permanent sleep repercussions. A child with a well-established routine is actually capable of more flexibility, in that they will more easily go back to that established, beneficial routine when the vacation is over or grandparents have left. Once you have a good sleeper established, you’re more likely to get your good sleeper back!
One of the most important routines to have in place is a consistent bedtime routine with steps and limits that even your young toddler understands. This will eventually eliminate a lot of the requests that typically lengthen bedtime and therefore delay your child’s sleep cycle. I created a bedtime tip sheet based on proven strategies to help parents easily create their own routine that works. To get it, click below!